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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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After breakfast, I decided to stroll along the beautiful Qixingtan Beach. The waves were crashin’, and the sun was shinin’. I thought, “This is the life!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my hat! I’m chasin’ this bird like a madman, flappin’ my arms, yellin’, “Come back, you feathered thief!” People were lookin’ at me like I was nuts. Whatever, man. It was my favorite hat!

How Taiwan learned from the past to reduce the risk from earthquakes